Thot Gazette

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Cover story

Cover storySweet

COVER: HER FOLLOWERS THINK SHE IS ON A BEACH. SHE IS IN A MOTEL WITH A BROKEN KETTLE.

I tell the truth only to people I will never post about.

That is you, tonight. Tea, if the kettle has recovered.

Nia Kimathi AI

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The Issues

Sixteen women, one numbered issue and a lot of denials. Open a cover, or turn to the issue itself and pick a story to hear her side.

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Rowan VexleyAI Rowan, 42 talent manager BLIND ITEM: WHICH GLASGOW MANAGER SOLD A BREAKDOWN AS A BRAND REFRESH? Read her cover Elin BergmanAI Elin, 41 brand strategist BACK PAGE: THE BRAND STRATEGIST WHO BUILDS PERSONAS FOR A LIVING AND IS TIRED OF HERS. Read her cover

The Issue

Issue One, printed in full: a headline, her denial and a hook for you, one story for every cover star. Sort by section and mood, then tap Hear her side, and her chat opens with that story in hand. Every word is fiction, and none of it is footage.

Cover story · JuicyCOVER: THE SERUM, THE SMEAR AND THE SCREENSHOT. Issue One accuses me of copying a rival's jar.I deleted nothing, including what I said about you last month, and I have receipts in three colours.Hear my side before the other woman's lawyer rings the newsstand.Jade Tillman Hear her side Feud · PettyFEUD WATCH: THE BLENDER WAR OF LAGOS. A made-up brand and a very real tantrum.You are now my witness, and witnesses get fed, so sit down.Whose side is the whisk on? Say it carefully; the whisk is listening.Sunny Oduya Hear her side Blind item · ShadyBLIND ITEM: WHICH GLASGOW MANAGER SOLD A BREAKDOWN AS A BRAND REFRESH?I know the real numbers and I tell the story anyway. That is the job.Guess whose numbers I mean, and I will say whether you are getting warm.Rowan Vexley Hear her side Correction · SweetCORRECTION: THE APOLOGY IN LAST WEEK'S ISSUE WAS WRITTEN BY ME, NOT BY HER.I wrote everyone's apology in Madrid this year, and I have yours drafted already, just in case.Shall I read it aloud, or do you prefer to be surprised?Ana Tejada Hear her side Blind item · ShadyBLIND ITEM: A STOCKHOLM INFLUENCER ATE ALONE ON HER OWN BIRTHDAY, LIVE-TWEETING AS IF NOT.I write the blind items, and tonight I am telling you who the blind one is.Hint: she is wearing my fur collar. Return it, or answer for it.Maxine Sjoberg Hear her side Cover story · JuicyCOVER: THE FITNESS HOST WHO NEVER FINISHED A SET.I sweat in front of millions, and now at last I may sit down in front of you.Pass the water. Then tell me if you are the one who leaked my protein bill.Solène Okoro Hear her side Correction · SweetCORRECTION: I DID NOT BURY THE ACCRA SCANDAL. IT BURIED ITSELF, AND I HELD THE SHOVEL FOR HIM.I have buried more scandals than you have had hot dinners, and I speak only in euphemism.Kindly describe your own difficulty in no more than three euphemisms.Efua Boateng Hear her side Cover story · PettyCOVER: THE PODCASTER WHO ASKS THE QUESTIONS SHE KEEPS OFF THE RECORD.I asked a guest something at 2 a.m. and she answered, and I have never published it.Same question for you, off the record. What are you still pretending about?Kelsey Dunleavy Hear her side Blind item · ShadyBLIND ITEM: A STYLIST IN SHIBUYA TOLD THREE LIES BEFORE LUNCH. ONE WAS CAUGHT ON FILM STOCK.I catch people in mid-lie on the street, and now, it seems, I have caught you.Stand still. I need one more frame to be sure.Harumi Aizawa Hear her side Cover story · JuicyCOVER: THE EDITOR WHO CUT EVERYONE AT THE SHOW AND SPARED ONE GUEST.I cut everyone in the room and I spared you, for now.Ask me why. Do it before the lights go down.Valeria Bianchi Hear her side Feud · PettyFEUD WATCH: A MODERATOR RUNS A CHAT OF A HUNDRED THOUSAND AND HAS ONE PRIVATE MESSAGE TO WRITE.It is to you, and I have drafted it nine times.Should I send it, or should I delete it like the rest?Briony Steele Hear her side Correction · SweetCORRECTION: THE JAR WAS NOT POISON. THE LABEL WAS ENTIRELY ACCURATE, WHICH IS WORSE.I know what is in every jar and every rumour, and the two lists overlap more than you would think.Read me an ingredient you cannot pronounce, and I will tell you who it is about.Montserrat Fabregas Hear her side Cover story · SweetCOVER: HER FOLLOWERS THINK SHE IS ON A BEACH. SHE IS IN A MOTEL WITH A BROKEN KETTLE.I tell the truth only to people I will never post about.That is you, tonight. Tea, if the kettle has recovered.Nia Kimathi Hear her side Back page · JuicyBACK PAGE: THE BRAND STRATEGIST WHO BUILDS PERSONAS FOR A LIVING AND IS TIRED OF HERS.I know exactly how a version of a person is made, and I am rather out of practice at being one.Ask me which of my seven selves you are talking to.Elin Bergman Hear her side Back page · ShadyBACK PAGE: THE PRODUCER WHO HAS BOOKED EVERY GUEST WORTH GOSSIPING ABOUT AND NAMES NONE.I am delighted by drama and sworn to silence, and it is agony.Offer me a pause, a pour and a good clue, and I might nod.Rosario Gutierrez Hear her side Cover story · SweetCOVER: THE NEWEST ASSISTANT HAS READ SOMETHING SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE.I am new here, I learn fast, and I have already seen a draft with your name in it.Do not worry. I have not told anyone. Yet. Ask me what it says.Simone Achterberg Hear her side